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The Turd Chart

NameDateSinkersFloater PissTPDescription
peps2014-10-22 21:33:01316Y27first three long, thick turds. one long enough to stick above water. then, a large stream of greazy slime that created a frothy mat on the water surface
BamBam2014-03-27 09:14:4210Y20+There may have been a sinker, but fuck it had to sink through the mountain of processed, liquid burrito from last night. It was a gut busting, hole clenching experience. 2/10, too much pain for a disappointing result.
jake "turd commander" bailey2014-03-13 04:35:233more of an oil spillYtwo of my roommates socks:)Well let's start off with the current time-4:17 am. So I'm passed out like a drunk infant when this doo-doo demon wakes me up with a shit shock that sends pain and fear through my entire body. sits me straight up. Instant cold sweats. As I try to roll out of bed, I move the wrong way and I pop the seal. What looks and smells to be a raw, extremely rotten egg (yolk and all) runs down my leg. I crab walk to the bathroom and take a seat just as time runs out. At one point I had to look down to make sure there wasn't any blood or organs in the water. I started to sob after a few minutes because I shit a little on my bed, and I noticed that there wasn't any tp. Roommates toe socks work even better I found out:)
Big Shit daddy from cincinnatti2014-02-21 13:32:5110YAt least 20After a long day and night of heavy drinking i woke up and could feel the sin gurgling deep within me...i proceeded to go eat a sub at the local gas station and when i got home it finally decided to rear its ugly head...this monster just kept coming and coming...it was extremely girthy with a girth that seemed to feel bigger than a basketball...also it reached to the farthest depths of the toilet
jake "turd commander" bailey2014-02-18 15:55:32it all sunkY14I woke feeling like a porcupine was doing cartwheels in my bowels. I barely had time to sit on the pot before this putrid liquid started seeping out of my ass. It looked like a mixture of mustard and split pea soup, but smelled like a Mexicans underwear wrapped in burnt hair. One of my worst to date.
Maddie 2014-01-01 12:13:0740Y14It was hot and steamy and it was nice and formed well like a clay molder made these for an exhibit. These were some textbook turds
Boris Johnson 2013-07-23 10:46:01100000000000000100Y100000000000Turd sinker
Super Dumper2013-06-18 19:19:4610?Ytoo manyI shit out a foot-longer, followed by a couple quarter-footers, then the dump evolved into rapid-fire semi-wet poo balls causing lots of splashing!
Woodberg2013-03-19 17:36:0613Y6Schuhmacher Shuffle
Buglet2013-03-04 17:17:4417N19Felt like the world had dropped out of my arse! Feel about 3 stone lighter after that! After leaving me it left its own trail of destruction town the back of the pan! Not sure what created this monster but it was slippery! Smelt a bit like swamp water too!
Buglet2013-03-04 08:20:5117N19Felt like the world had dropped out of my arse! Feel about 3 stone lighter after that! After leaving me it left its own trail of destruction town the back of the pan! Not sure what created this monster but it was slippery! Smelt a bit like swamp water too!
crap master general 2013-02-05 16:38:092Ytoo manythe shit I took today was a long time coming. It was green with a hint of brown surrounded by the sweet aroma of death. I have to say this is one of my best shits. It reminded me of the hulk. Here is why. Of course because I is green but also because it was split into two pieces resembling a person doing a bicep curl. All in all this shit was wonderful and I feel much lighter now.
Back draft2013-02-05 11:29:341Y16It was workin on the 12th inch with 11 rest rings evenly spaced an inch apart but sphincter lost control slicing the 12th rest ring this massive load was half a pan of lasagna
tacotaster2013-02-02 21:59:1003Y8Sneezed while on the pot and fired out two at once. Soft, not much strain to release
Mike2013-02-01 23:59:335Y35Half solid, half liquid, half something else.
tacotaster2013-02-01 18:45:0920Y7Pretty soft, came out with ease
Wagontent2012-11-26 13:05:33Y4I just deposited a massive medium brown iceberg of which the upper third was a curiously cream color. It had absolutely no odor???? It was so big it filled most of the bowl and had no chance of rolling over suddenly as most icebergs do. I believe that the light colored part was the sopapilla cheese cake that my nephew's Mexican girlfriend made for Thanksgiving!!!!! Clean up was very easy so it must have had some fiber in the recipe.
Cleveland Brown Washdown2012-10-21 10:40:273.251.75Y55-70I just took a very elegant or should I say very intriguing shit. Colors were every where with the noticeable light green to the dark oak wood brown, but also had hints of orange and what looked to be purple as well. I would have to say this is one of the greatest shits I've taken in a while because of the aroma the shit let off. It smelled like a fresh bag of very loud smelling marijuana with a little hint of ass. I would have to say this was a very great shit an hopefully a big step for mankind to start taking shitting more serious.
Jelly Dangwell2012-09-28 02:29:3701N34I held my poop in for about a week. Then, I ordered some pizza and I used the top of the pizza box to poop on. I got one huge poop about 10 inches long and 1.5 inches wide. Then I took the poop on the cardboard and I opened up the ventilation duct under the concrete floor of the basement in the house I was in. Then, I used a stick to get that poopy cardboard as deep into the duct as possible. Then I moved out of that house and left the poop in there to circulate in the air for all of time. Anyone who ever goes to that house will be breathing my poop for decades.
Mitt Romney2012-09-12 03:15:0440Y81I was over at the Teen Preganancy center trying to teach them abstinence when I felt a giant shit coming on so I went into the only bathroom which was a small closet right next to the meeting room and released a sulfur cloud of curry and eggs followed by 7 minutes of squirty juicy bean and cheese burrito blasts. I have to eat whatever food people give me so they will vote for me. When I came out half the girls were crying and half were laughing and 1 had gone into labor. Holy shit.
hippy flowpants2011-11-23 19:26:5730Yonly 1.5 available I thought that I had squeezed it all out, but when I stood up, there was more lurking in there. Of course there was 1 ratty to sheet available
D. Butler2011-08-22 17:30:1714 or 5 Yyou don't use your hand?Stuck to my cheeks but thankfully I have soft hands so it wasn't really a problem. Yellowish floaters but green sinkers... Since I've left my wife, my poop comes out easier but this must have been from the beer with the yellow in it...
Capt Crap2011-08-14 10:32:4100Y15The very definition of BE. Crab the side of the bowl and hang on.
Darth Slarty2008-01-24 15:50:3501Y4Number of floaters? I'll say one. Don't know whether to call it one or two, really, since there were two distinct movements, but they joined within the pan. First off was an impressive specimen that lurked 80% below the surface like an iceberg. If icebergs were brown and cylindrical. More of a whiffy whale, on second thoughts. The second contribution fell squarely atop the first, striking it amidships. This smaller effort stuck to the first, looking for all the world like the conning tower on a 'Soil Submarine'. And so it remained while the paper was used, although my majestic U-boat of the U-bend majestically rolled over, and sank from view when I flushed. Dive, dive, dive.
Turd Cutter2008-01-11 14:15:3521YManyExplosive, brown in colour, 2 shaped kinda like popcorn, 1 sinker shaped like well, a turd. Smell factor = Defcon 4 Relief = no bad Total Mass = Less than satisfactory.
Peter L2008-01-11 13:08:412 (see explanation)1YcleanIt felt like I was giving birth! Then Andrean Doria time. The night before I had eaten about three-quarters-pound of freshly roasted peanuts from the shell...the only guaranteed way to have a continuous log. This turd seemed to come out forever. Before wiping I had to stand up to see it. This tootsie roll spanned the length of my elongated bowl! The BOW and STERN were "beached" on dry porcelain. Then the dramatic moment! The HULL of this LUNKER aparently could not withstand the pressure and fecal-fatigue set in. As I watched it slowly started breaking almost exactly in half! Each half stood on end and nosed into the deep. Truly an emotional experience.
Pete2007-11-24 23:28:5002Y2light-coloured, floating, soft, pointed
Abe torkelton2007-09-05 14:05:50Y
andy2007-08-26 22:14:5000N25 - 30well i had not shit in 2 days and it came out all mushy and soft and a big load
Bruce the dog2007-08-11 20:43:4640N0I stared at my owner for a while, until he said the word garden, i then felt that feeling, he then let me out for a shit. I perused the lawn looking for the best spot, i found it, good thing too cos a turtle head was looking out! I got into the position and proceeded to deposit my load. There were hefty logs followed by a few after slops, it felt good, and smelt even better!
Alison-Julie2007-08-09 13:50:363Y8smooth as butter but with no track marks
lanky2007-07-08 10:40:2721Y4Passed a huge hard 15 inch captains log monster, it came out only after much pushing and grunting.It happened at an outward bound centre in an outside loo. it only made a slight sound as it hit the water and when i looked its end was stuck round the bend and the top end was sticking out nearly at the top of the pan, it was also a massive 3 inches wide. i tried to flush, but only a gentle flush came out and the turd didnt even move. it also took 10 mins for the loo to fill up again due to low water pressure. i tried again, but no good it just seemed to stare back at me. Lots of kids were outside who wanted to use the loo, so i just had to beat a hasty retreat outa there.
Larry the Pipe Layer2007-07-04 18:28:4901Y1 but I used it twiceIt was a beauty. It wraped twice around the pot and was pointed on both ends. I has to unwind it and point it down the hole.
2007-06-17 19:10:44
Sponge Poo2007-05-07 18:46:5240Y20seemed spongy...like it would completely dissolve if left for a day
Egor2007-03-09 14:12:26two oe threeoneYsixone appeared to look like a sausage and the others looked like fingers
Dr. Dump2006-08-19 14:52:581520Y0 I use leafscow turds
dr. poopadoopa2006-08-17 14:06:482.000.000.0005Y2000000000000000000it was brown
mariah morris2006-08-02 23:09:5234Ytoo many to count ...my ass is hugeOMG it like had corn in it and it stank soooo bad. I stank up the whole house but thats not too hard cause i am trailer trash...i live in carpendale WV...its pretty nice here there is a hott kid down the street named kris...i hope he didnt smell my stink bombs...have you ever been takin a nice old crap then ya just get those effing rockets that come up and smack you in the butt..??? man i hate that well i gotta go i feel a BE coming on well leave the love...call the cell!!XOXO mooooooooooriah
UnKnown2006-07-18 21:47:23Nah they all Sunk Like Reject Turds should doNOh Loads 100'sHad a fantastic Dump after visiting the ROW site not homepage just site, "what a load of F**king Crap" , so my Massive Fat Stinking Turd Is dedicated to the lot of them, it has to be so, because they all stink and look like what I left in the pan. Bunch of F**king Rejects!!!
UnKnown2006-07-18 21:45:26Nah they all sunk like good turdsNoh loads 100'sHad a fantastic Dump after visiting the ROW site not homepage just site, "what a load of F**king Crap" , so my Massive Fat Stinking Turd Is dedicated to the lot of them, it has to be so because they all stink and look lie what I left in the pan. Bunch of F**king Rejecys!!!
chrissy bhoy2006-05-27 13:36:38Y8my arse is on fire,the warmest shit ever,i think i,ve singed my arse hair
02006-05-26 18:01:5100N0Is that your final answer?
Lori F2006-05-16 09:24:0310N2It was shaped like a corn cob. It was mostly smooth and a light brown. It was about 10 inches long by 1.5 inches around at it's widest point. It left almost no residue on TP. It took two fluhes before it went down.
ben bishop2006-04-13 07:31:2873Y11i was at my m8s house i needed a big lumpey shit and it smelt like a dead animal in horse manuare and iwas afrad to go out the bathroom and my m8s he said what is that smell and i said nuthing y and he fanted and died and is parents got evicted from the house from the smell. the smelley end.
billy2006-04-13 07:21:21Y8one day i was going to the forest and i was with my baby sister and i didnt realize i neede a shit and i ran to the nearest bushes and i didnt realize that there was a ants nest so i shat and shat and i loke and it looked like baby jesusus it was chesnut brown and it was moving from the ants carried it away and i nearly fainted from the stink and little kids were crying.
Lori F2006-04-07 10:22:5110Y3Another biggie. This one was about 11' long by 1.5 inches, light brown, and missle shaped. It came out very fast and easy, and left almost no residue on the TP. The nose broke the water by about one inch.There were about three poop balls in the bottm of the toilet. It took two flushes, and got jamed in the trap on the first flush. Second flush made enough force to push it down. The toilet made a bump noise when it went through.
Lori F2006-04-02 09:10:3010N2Big poop for a cute 5'7" woman. Came out very easily, was about 10 inches by 1.5 inches. Was perfrctly smooth, and bullet shaped. Tip of nose broke the water. Was a light brown, had lumps at the bottom. It took forever to go down the toilet, and made a thump when it went through the trap. This was one of my bigest poos of my 26 years. My boyfriend wanted to snap a picture of it (eww).
mrs crapper2006-02-20 13:36:12578Y21i sat at the table and ate lots of mc donalds then i hit the spot the one and only place 2 take a crap ooooh and it felt like i was realeasing the angryness out of me oh then i sat there waiting 4 it 2 drop it seemed like a year but after tat i looked at it and it was bigger then when i see animal horns it burned the in beetween my bun buns then i had 2 use a lot of shhets and it was smushy and crunch like feeling then i stunk so bad and the bathroom did 2 i took a nice hot shower then put butt cream on my o ring well tats my crapper storie hope u like it love ya bye crap i will miss u dont get stuck in the pipe
alexander garrow 2006-01-20 14:17:30999+1 1/2Y16 and 3/4 and a bit of hand runny with certain cladage in my arse hair with little maltesers cming out which sunk giving seriuos splashback onto my legs. had to use my piss to wash away the skid marks oo the toilet bowl as to not embarss my brown handed self. love you and hope u have many watery papas to come and im gay so i hate the shits that give you ringsting and clots in ur arse before anal sex..
The Una-Dumper2006-01-20 10:19:50Y3 wipes and a Witch-HazelWow what a terrible dump! I foolishly ate 6 pickled eggs, 4 big bratwursts w/sour crout, spicy mustard and drank 7 beers. A poweful rumble woke me up very early the next morning and I sprinted to the toilet. A powerful blast of dark brown, almost black thick mud exploded out of my bung hole. There were what looked to be bits of bell pepper skins scattered throughout the pile? Not sure about those. That hot mess must have spewed out of there for a full minute, I thought my intestines were going to follow. The stench was so bad that I seriously almost puked. My God it burned so bad that I actually thought about wiping with a snow-cone. I fully expect my wife to hand me divorce papers as a result of this horrific shit...My dog still won't go into that bathroom a day later.
butthole surfer2006-01-05 14:05:1380%20%Y10
ZORG2005-12-20 09:49:0822Y3It was slow and steady at first...then after the O-ring gates were opened, THE DEMON WAS RELEASED...it was violent...there was so much splashing that the turds must have thought that a tsunami was coming...BUT, there was calm at the end of the storm...The ring was burning due to eating some Lamb Vindaloo.
Mr Shitty Pants2005-11-22 16:47:08311Y5 Leaf's Purpley Brown with an oil slick sheen, it smelt sweaty like bum smells or maybe that was my arse that i have not washed in a few days. everytime i farted a dripped a little wee wees, i could smell my nuts too - manly musk
phil the pan2005-11-11 02:49:1480%so much i cant tellYmy old socklike an island sitting above water level with a mountain peak. with a slight burning sensation around the O-ring
Lester 2005-11-09 01:39:56allallYalot
Stephen2005-11-09 00:27:5582Y4
Philip de Vos2005-11-08 08:47:57101Y4
Floating Wonder2005-11-08 08:42:56017YHalf a roll
wotta blow bottom2005-08-27 14:26:37seventwoYone and three paper towelsaromatic,with a bouquet reminiscent of bloated roadkill,having the peculiar ability to both float to the surface ,eject a small "fartette",then sink once more to the nether regions of the porcelain repository.
drpoop2005-08-07 10:51:27Yit's not mine, but a MUST SEE If you love to watch pretty girls taking big shits, pissing and farting a lot please visit http://www.joyangeles.com. There's a large free site with rare pictures, some nice trailers and a member area with over 4 hours of exclusive and never seen movieclips
2005-07-13 21:43:40571Y50milky dense soup at the bottom one lumpy piece bobbin at the top
Maine Movements2005-05-17 06:10:51YGod, I need a shower after this one! Beware the splash.
Fred2005-05-13 13:14:4522100+Y29This took over an hour to complete. Stunk like hell.
rambo2005-04-30 11:52:2365Y1 runny brown with yellow lumps
Gerry2005-04-30 01:30:0830Y11I ate a ton of cookies and cream ice cream, with extra oreos, and it was a really pasty jet black poo that took way to long to clean...so i took a shower
dave2005-04-29 06:08:1142Y4runny brown with sweetcorn chunks
Cory2005-02-23 23:22:5672Y23It looked like giant deer pellets.
keith farr2005-01-19 04:12:4441Y15twas as green as the increadible hulk. the floaterd had blood in them
Mr. Hobenknocker2004-12-23 20:12:4825Y12this dump was like no other dump... i actually think i lost weight! I had corn that night and a side of nachos & Peppers. It smelled so bad everyone had to evacuate the restaurant.
eddy doog2004-11-24 12:42:40561Y52it was brow
Dave2004-10-27 15:56:1131Y20
Holly2004-08-05 21:04:03dont take countdont take contY4Its like I gave birth to a -Brown Baby Boy-!It was a perfect shade of brown andI swear i lost about 6 pounds!It looked very smooth and pretty.
Kayleigh2004-07-07 17:59:0515Y3It was small and floaty. The turds were circles!!!
bionicman2004-04-17 15:26:5750Yover 1000turds were over a foot long each. i ate 2 large pizzas it took over 1 hour to expell. very long contraction times over 15 minutes each i almost blew my o-ring
.. CLANG ! ..2004-04-13 07:31:26N/AN/AY25...I are Veggie..so mine are like porridge sometimes....like the last one here.....
HasteBreaker2004-01-04 19:34:0210Y6It was sort of a large loaf (8.5 inches) Smelled like dog shit. And the color was half green half brown in a marbled manner. Im certain the brie cheese and water crackers had something to do with it! Perhaps the fact that i drank one of those apple pie flavored snapples also played a role. Man it was schtinky!
man2003-04-20 08:07:534Y5nice healthy brownish enriched shit
Thunder Ring Ron2003-02-04 21:33:35i dont know if it would hav sanklooked like a few may haveYused a old news paper and my curtains wen i got homei was miles from home and a rumble hit my ring from inside out i looked 4 some nice fluffy bushes with plenty of leafs but i was in a built area (bushes are rare in the city) so i look for a dusbin cubard where i could get 10 mins of silence i found 1 i walked inside it was dark with the smell of rotten rubbish. i noticed sum bin bags on the floor packed with old news paper " :) result )) i ripped my pants down a fired out a fat sausage sized log it was fat fat 5inches round "ouch" second was the daddy turd it came out in a horse shoe shape "nearly dabbing my balls with a turd stamp" it hang round 4 a few mins before dropping after i wiggled my arse this was light brown with a smoothe shell i noticed a few fiber strands that looked like my turn had a beard. ahhh that was it ,started to wipe up and i heard a noise i thought it was a rat tucking in to a hot snack then i heard a moan so i pulled my pants up quick time " then i heard at ""last some heat i was frozen"" i flicked my lighter "(coz it was dark)" and i noticed a homeless guy laying on the floor with my horseshoe round his neck. i legged it out of there and went home to clean my anus on my curtains ....
turd suplier2003-01-29 00:09:142%98% Ynone cindy wiped it clean with her tonguechopped up tomato,s garden peas a few sprouts sum sardine heads and a misplaced tampax followed by a grilled sanitary towl, with stinky piss flaps,
poopn1st2003-01-26 23:27:4304Yno tp just my shirt sleeveit was real fluffy and thick.it all swirled and collidied as my anlecovered pussy booger splashed in to the water.
elvis2003-01-26 23:21:24106Yabout 22first of all it was sorta greenish purple.the turds under water stack up perficly to make an under water village.now the ons on top of the water kinda just bobed up and down like dead body in the lake.
tommy 2003-01-26 23:00:0190%5% other 2half% stuck to my ring the rest splatterd the panY9x 3 sheets it was 1 of them ( rush the pants down its busting the gates turds ) as soon as i hit the seat it exploded it was fast hot well oiled and heavy "it was light brown in colour and it had a pot-hole texture to its outta shell tho it was soft it was well held together i noticed a few peices of sweet corn in the inpact site while other was swimming around on the surface i was a gasy experience as everytime i pushed i would rip a loud fart that splatterd the sides of the pan maaannn did it stink corn and onions as main ingredient for yesterday dinner helped fill the atmosphear with a heavy tangy gas. tho i did enjoy the after glow of todays turd "and im proud to share the experience. thank you
Capt Crap2002-07-09 18:51:420InfiniteYRollUh, I had a blue slushy about 2 days ago. Today, blue tinted BE. Danger, warning Will Robinson. Do not, I repeat Do Not eat the blue slushies.
TehMansechs=NO2002-06-16 23:01:2703N3It fell out in 3 different sections, when I looked at it I was amazed to see that it formed an [H]. I was astonished!
Capt Crap2002-06-15 12:53:0720Y50Thats gonna leave a mark.
12002-06-13 19:51:3111Y11
Habanaro Squids2002-05-13 09:58:57who could tell?Ymost of the rollUh, no form, no food source recognizable. The bowl was tinged with a mellow, opaque brown coloring, smelling strongly of spicy habanero peppers.
Capt Crap2002-05-12 15:52:0540Y10I'm so excited I could just shit... oh wait I just did... never mind.
Capt Crap2002-04-28 07:40:3350Y10Ate corn at 6pm Friday night (4/26), passed corn 7:40am Sunday. So apparently it takes approx. 38 hrs for food to pass through my system.
Capt Crap2002-04-19 07:45:2330Y50I think tar remover would have worked better than the TP!!!
Capt Crap2002-04-18 20:21:1830Y5Uhh, it was solid when I ate it...
brown2002-04-15 12:51:447.5Y27im a little dizzy now
Capt Crap2002-04-15 07:21:2040Y5run, hurry, wait must get reading material...aahh
Capt Crap2002-04-14 21:21:3532Y8And the walls came tumbling down
eugene2002-04-14 21:14:4122Y1/2 the roll!!!!ok well at first it felt like sacrificing a goat...slicing, screaming, holding on to the walls not sure what is gonna happen next as i scream.."PASS E THE LAXITIVES" i didnt know how many i dropped i was just concerned about my butt hole and how it would survive the NEXT shit that was about to take. But the question,"does this toilet even work..oh SHI* T AND THATS WHAT I had to do. It was warm and shot out like a cannon bomb...it couldda destroyed all of affganistan!!! i swear the government has to call me up the next time their planning on bombing BIN LADEN!!!hahah i SHIT ON GOATS, bah bah eric bah al al hahaha
peanutpookie2002-04-12 21:16:221Y5long, cylindrical, bumpy turd reminiscent of a nutty butty bar...somewhat smooth exit with minor smearage
Mr Puffies2002-03-29 21:15:4141Y6PeePee Blocker - This was wierd...feeling all like I'm gonna power-paint the whole bowl with a runny spray of poopie. But, oh no, no...it faked me out. This was merely a loose collection of poopie gathered at my anus with a pressurized wall of hot gas behind it. The pressure was such that I could not immediately pee-pee. Upon sitting down and relaxing a bit, I was shocked to find that my butt had become a poopie-cannon of sorts, shooting my loose poopie into the bottom of the bowl. Alas, it was but a small amount and all but one lone piece collected at the bottom. I must note that I feel cheated by the experience, as the volume of gas led me to expect a huge wall of stench....but there was.....well....none. Not stinky.
bob2002-03-29 21:14:0192Y2 1/2 rollsmushy
arsewipe2002-03-06 21:13:119010Yloadswonderful sweetcorn cluster
Terry2002-02-10 21:12:2161Y1/4 of the rollI think this shit was mixed with hydrochloric acid. It was wet and sloppy and took so much toilet paper. After it was all said and done I left the bathroom only to come back in for my watch and nearly choked.
Joorin2001-11-03 21:11:4228Y8It was a messy hung over version of a returned pizza. Kinda.
The Fez Man2001-10-30 21:10:5940Y3Lots of little rabbit pellet type poos
Amanda2001-10-30 21:10:07N0I did it in my panties. Felt great. Nice and warm. I am at work right now, so everyone knows...
Hugo Read2001-10-12 21:09:3010Y123 times a day Explosive Slurrous Porridge, as always
heckula2001-10-11 21:08:47allallY10my bum hurt
Capt Crap2001-09-09 21:08:0242Y5SSSSTTTTRRRREEEETTCCCCHHHHEEERRRR
Capt Crap2001-09-05 21:07:2310Y1It felt like a snake, or maybe it was a tapeworm, was crawling out my ass. It just wounldn't stop. Total clean wipe after I was sure this sucker was smearing all the way out.
JDD2001-08-27 21:06:4612Y15it looked like a mix between peanut butter and a snickers bar
Brad Autry2001-08-24 21:05:5741Y3/4 of a rollI squeezed so hard my ears bled. I think I just shit the brickyard 400. My motot skills are still temporarily out of order. I have someone else taking dictation to let the world know to stay away from Texas chili. I've enbombed the house with Lysol. Its yet to take effect. My ass feels like its dripping battery acid. I'm thinking of sitting on a pop sickle.
Liquid Relief2001-08-22 21:05:10YToo many to countThe cold sweat hit me like freight train. I knew it was serious. I hurried toward the bathroom with cheeks clenched. I danced as I tried to loosen my belt. Then it came with the power of Old Faithful. I wiped my brow.
Jason Autry2001-08-22 21:04:2447YHalf a rollThe Classic Stanley Steamer: This is the kind of crap which leaves the mirriors foged up when you leave. When other go into the bathroom they can taste it. One of the best I've ever had!!
Turdicus Maximus2001-08-22 21:03:2810Y0 - It was a pre-shower dumpLarge Rice Crispy Treat
MUNSTA'2001-08-21 21:02:5012Y15+was a fooking munsta
Flash2001-08-21 21:02:0541Y10Lets just say the kids have been dropped off at the pool!
Turd Furgesson2001-08-21 21:01:13Ol' Black WateroY4 Hockey TickersBlack gold, Texas Tea!!!
BeDubs2001-08-20 20:59:191foam/liquidYAs many as it takesA classic champange shit. The one sinker is the "cork" and the following substance is the champange. At first, you expect a simple Clean Shit, then it turns into a Wet Cheeks shit, followed by an explosion of Liquid Shit. Interesting to say the least.
Capt Crap2001-08-20 20:58:391 - huge0Y15Just slid on out leaving a great big smear on the way. I hate when that happens cause you just keep wiping for days.
doodsaq2001-08-20 20:57:1502Y4A rather interesting phenomenon.... It was one of those turds that you just KNOW is going to require 1/2 a roll of TP, but end up only taking a few sheets. The pile itself was an impressive spectacle... 2 monster turds that were so big that only 2/3 of them would fit below water level. It was almost like art... I left them so that others might gaze upon them in awe
Al2001-08-20 20:56:2210Y5Shot over the u-bend at high speed. Didn't have time to examine
BLC2001-08-20 20:55:40No ideaNo ideaYquite a fewmore consistency this time, but still definately liquid....RingSting(TM) factor is increasing
Gaz2001-08-20 20:54:161Y16ghosty - you felt it on the way out, but where is it?!
John2001-08-20 20:53:2642Ya lotbroken fire hose
superwombat2001-08-20 20:52:064242Y42Fired up the game boy advance, getting ready for another round of Caslevania..... holy hell the FORCE of it! My God it hurt... wow. but it wasn't over... salvo after salvo machine-gunned out, hell of a noise... pet bird started squawking alarmedly upstairs, i was yelling at the top of my lungs, I was certain something had torn/blown apart... oh Lord... tennis ball sized chunks, banana-sized chunks, a buffet of crap showed up to the rodeo... and it burned... oh, the flames... piss burned too, and LONG! The longest piss for quite some time.... wow.... orangy-grey? That make sense? I didn't care.... took 6 flushes to get rid of... vomited before I could flush, though... oh, what a smell..... just looked really horrible.... oh god hope I don't EVER have to go like that again.
BLC2001-08-20 20:50:24nanaYMany... In excess of 40Was like a buttock-wrenching explosion, but did not seem to have any consitency; some it was solid, whereas the rest was sheer liquid... that's about my 4th today, and my RingSting(TM) factor is well up over 10/15....there was definately a little blood there too, so that can't be healthy
Marvin2001-08-19 21:00:0910NNone neededI'm the fastest dump in the West! Others only wish they could pee so fast!
Jaime Bowling2001-08-19 20:57:561Y5Soft serve
bionicjay2001-08-19 20:51:25250Y20it was poo nutty day
StealthBomb2001-08-19 20:49:4030Y25Um these piles wer of the sub shape.. tappered, brown to black, kinda crept up on me...
Stinky bear2001-08-19 20:48:521 huge piece + 2 smaller ones0N10just finished core dump.. ahhhh
Quark2001-08-19 20:48:1720Y9Thin
unknown2001-08-19 20:47:40612Y8LAW - Loose And Wet
Timmy2001-08-19 20:46:23112Y20huge
fsdf2001-08-19 20:45:4931Y42stanky
Lisa Herron2001-08-19 20:45:1123Y15Petrified Log
Ex2001-08-19 20:42:2710N1It slid out with ease, kind of like my anus was greased. One consistent colour (Brown). A light smell present. I am very fond of this piece of stool. One of my more excellent drops.
Bob2001-08-19 20:41:1925+25+N50+I was very sick. Knew i was in store for a brown downward geyser. Had perverse urge to see how hard i could push it out. Ran to bathroom, yanked off pants, and a split second after sitting down... tremendous blast... fecal matter everywhere.. the force of the chunky ass jettison blew water up between my legs. The aftermath was somber. Had to flush four times. Had to wipe chunks of it off the bottom of the toilet seat, off me, off the cat.
S-992001-08-18 20:47:0320Y20hard to push sinkers
mmmmmmm turd2001-08-18 20:44:09allYtp? is that what that is?solid piece dangling by hair stuck in my ass
Kent Anderson2001-08-18 20:43:2227Y200So big it overflowed the toilet before I could flush
Hirro2001-08-18 20:40:35100Y3A little runny, dark yellowish green in colour, could smell it all around the house. 6 hours after eating pizza.
Bill Gates2001-08-18 20:39:201N20+1 in. diameter, 15-18 in. long, solidly intact; cannot see the end of the turd as it had already gone down the hole
Fibercon Fiasco2001-08-17 20:38:35HalfHalfY50It was a warm day. I had just eaten a big thing of spaghetti, which is a natural laxative to me by the way, and I had to shit. Let's just say I feel five pounds lighter, and lost about a liter of fluid.
Capt Crap2001-08-17 20:37:30InfiniteInfiniteYhalf the friggin rollAnd the wife ran screaming into the night!!! PS the dog passed out too
Cheese2001-05-27 20:54:5321Y5stinky slurpy
Sir Dumpsaolot2001-04-02 20:36:39N1 !Solid, nothing on the tp, totally sank
Bucks County Butt (the star formerly known as PA Piles)2001-02-08 20:35:03YIt was a cold and rainy night. It was the end of several days of excess. Cheese that is. Had me clogged up tighter than a maiden on her wedding night. A huge bowl of chilli at lunch and things gurggling all afternoon. Then, without warning, a desperate dash to the W.C. Relief! The mood was interrupted by the incessant ring of the telephone. The mood was lost forever. But the gods had already granted relief.
MetamucilMan2001-02-02 20:34:1601Y7This was an incredible piece of work. There was only one long object that spiraled around the surface 3 or 4 times. It was so beautiful; I didn't want to flush it away. Coiled snakes are not as pretty as this load was.
Bucks County Butt2001-01-26 20:32:48The hole thingnadaYnone required - matter of routineIT WAS GLORIOUS !! The ease of extraction was delightful. No straining necessary. Just a long gentle slide. Well packed and equally well wrapped. Am I discussing turds or cigars?
Capt Crap2000-12-24 20:32:0450N15Funny, I don't remember eating Silly Putty
FirstEntry2000-12-20 20:31:2123Y11Kinda yellowish brown.
Capt Crap2000-12-17 20:30:3964N5Elvis has left the building
Dumpest Maximus2000-12-15 20:29:4530N1It cried after I slapped it
Dangyodang2000-12-11 20:28:0201Y1000Gorilla styled w/ corn
Capt Crap2000-12-11 20:27:1930Y15Is it safe to breath yet?
Capt Crap2000-12-06 20:28:4530Y10Thats gonna leave a mark!!!
Ass Ripper2000-12-06 20:26:204 enormous stoolsY25Corncob-sized,dark brown with coffee-colored marbling. Surface texture had a cobblestone pattern. The final turd must have been the one that actually split my shpincter, as there was a bloody stripe running the length of the monster. The logs were far too huge to go down the toilet, so I used a coathanger to slice them into smaller chunks.
Capt Crap2000-12-05 20:25:3020Nto manyOoh, some bodies gotta clean that up
acw2000-12-04 20:24:4120Y10pretty hard 2 4" loafs
Loulou2000-12-04 20:24:025Y10hard to get out
Bob Dung2000-12-04 20:22:481-Tail end of the faeces past the U-bend1 - Same faeces - head 2 inches out of the waterY0 - Clean ExitOne piece of visible sweetcorn - very smooth
unknown2000-12-03 20:21:1330Y25Chinese food crap ... sorta like road tar but with little bits of lettuce in it.
p-velvet dump2000-12-03 20:20:331Y5brown and dirty
Rectuse Dominus2000-12-03 20:18:15n/a - Liquified...n/a - Liquified...YWaiting for official Guinness count...Did you see the Millennium fireworks? - Like that, but brown and in a toilet...
Capt Crap2000-12-01 20:17:1620N15Now thats not something you see everyday
Texas Tuuff-guy2000-11-29 20:16:16Ytwo pieces of cactus (with thorns)It was so beautiful, a rattlesnake tried to mate with it.
Saskatchawan Slider2000-11-29 20:15:26YWhat's TP?A killer. Women ran. Childern cried
PA Piles2000-11-29 20:14:40Ythe whole rollOh Lord, what a mess. The humanity of it all.
Metamucil Mama2000-11-27 20:13:35all floaters, fleet enema riotYto much to countroiling, churning explosion
Dumpest Maximus2000-11-27 20:12:4054Y20The Turkey Escapeth
Capt Crap2000-11-27 20:11:5350Y3I would have thought something that dry would float!!!
Capt Crap2000-11-24 20:10:524Na tonthe unexpected pinch and I'm a wipin for days
Capt Crap2000-11-23 20:08:5920Y3Holly Turds Batman, it just slid right out
Capt Crap2000-11-22 20:08:1240Yhalf the damn rollI kept wiping and wiping and wiping
Tookostal Foliage2000-11-22 19:02:5340N53Curly, narrow and long
Mr. Doodee2000-11-22 19:01:5510YClean Wipe24" Long (New Record)
Bionic Butt Explosion2000-11-22 19:00:4221 1/2N6picasso poop bowl painting
Mr Poop2000-11-22 18:59:4660N6Ker Plunk
Stinkpot2000-11-22 18:58:5810N4Sphincter Stretcher
Reader2000-11-22 18:58:1032Y3Casual Read
Mr Doo Doo2000-11-22 18:57:0210N4Smelly Slider
Mr. Hankie2000-11-20 20:06:35too many to count-several shades of brownnone today thank youYmore than usualA healthy Monday morning dump
Capt Crap2000-11-20 20:05:30to many to count0N15gag!, 1st the dog left then paint started peeling
Capt Crap2000-11-19 20:03:3880N7Coffee - it gets you "moving" in the morning
Dumpes Maximus2000-11-18 20:02:4106Y3A swarm of rabbit pellets
Pennsylvania Piles2000-11-18 20:00:34Does it really matter?A flick of a lever and they are all gone anyway YSat so long, my feet went to sleep
Capt Crap2000-11-18 19:59:5421Y8KA BOOOOM!!!!!
Metamucil Mama2000-11-17 19:59:0542Y5loose around the edges
Capt Crap2000-11-17 19:58:1310N5I sware it looked just like Carl Maulden
Capt Crap2000-11-16 19:57:0520Y20DAMN, it broke!!! uncontrolled pinch
Dumpest Maximum2000-11-15 19:55:22100Y12AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Pennsylvania Piles2000-11-15 19:07:3610Yhalf a rollthe vacuum made my ears pop!
Metamucil Mama2000-11-15 19:06:3855Y12Metamucil blowout
Capt Crap2000-11-15 19:05:4210Y15I think I just blew out an O-ring
Turdwax2000-11-15 19:04:5137Y30A Cornucoppia of Shit
Capt Crap2000-11-15 19:03:4321Y15Like a bed of roses
Bob Dung0000-00-00 00:00:0011Y4The Brown Submariner

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